Scars to gold …

It is a known psychological phenomenon that when we have been mistreated and/or traumatized, we carry imprints that - when left untended and unmined - can unknowingly draw forth similar patterns and perpetrators into our lives, even as ‘older and wiser’ adults. 

In ways big and small, this cycle of unconscious regurgitation of the original mistreatment, abuse, or trauma is hauntingly familiar yet destructive. Shame compounds, life blows up, and we have no idea why. 

What is wrong with me?

Does this sound familiar in any way? You might be familiar with this: You go to hell and back, and your spark goes out. Life goes dark. The one and only thing that can revive you is your own life force. YOUR SPARK.

This is why I believe in the power of creativity: Creativity is the fast track to your spark.

Finding and feeling the comforting cushion of safety is imperative when recovering from the various forms of trauma that life dishes out, whether it is from abuse or combat or any other maelstrom that sizzles your nervous system into fried little fragments that become the scattered pieces of your life. 

There’s a catch though: the only real safety is internal. 

This is where your SPARK comes in.

Everything and everyone else will just do what they do, and you have to find a way to be okay within your own world. You HAVE TO FIND YOUR OWN SPARK. While a close circle of friends is therapeutic, waiting around for others to see and understand what you've been through is not your fast track to recovery. 

For me, it was imperative to sit in utter silence for a time while I tried to rekindle my relationship with what felt like a shattered soul. UTTER. SILENCE. I was wise enough to finally understand that the issue was mine to hold, mine to heal … and mine to mine. 

You see, I knew I had to tunnel into dark places and mine this trauma for its gold.

A few therapeutic modalities (and beautiful friends) helped me sift through the ashes of what was once my life, but my creative practice is what brought me back to life.

Our creativity connects us to our spark and our life force like nothing else can.

Thankfully, the conversation around the various forms and impacts of trauma is becoming more commonplace in our collective dialogue. This awareness is crucial, because understanding how trauma drops lingering effects into our nervous system - and therefore the dynamics of *our entire life* - is a pivotal step towards healing. 

It allows us to see the invisible tentacles that bind us to past experiences, and this understanding also empowers us to understand that we can make new choices.

We begin to ask: How can I live free of the choices I have previously made? How can I live from my spark? How can I live from my gold?

In my experience, the only way to truly live free is to first accept and embody full-tilt radical self-responsibility. Radical self-responsibility does not mean that we are responsible for 

the actions of others, or the ways we have been harmed - this is especially true when dealing with abusive situations. 

For me, radical responsibility means that I acknowledge that I cannot change the past, and I cannot change the hells that are happening across the world. 

And, I embody this: I am blessed to have a life where I have the power to choose how I live NOW. RIGHT NOW. 

RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW.

As sure as the beat of our heart, we always have RIGHT NOW.

Right now holds the opportunity to take proactive steps to mend a wound and turn it into bright, dazzling gold.

Even if (especially if) it feels impossible, we can reclaim our personal narrative, and shine bright.

You don't need to hold a definitive story of trauma in your body to understand that life has confusing, challenging, and sometimes seemingly insurmountable experiences. 

Even if you don’t ‘know’ trauma, the person right next to you most likely does. People all across the world are experiencing it as you read my words.

Regardless of the word used to define it, we have all weathered a major storm or two in life.

We all have things that we would like to say, do, or BE from underneath the black cloud those storms have left over our heads (and in our bodies). Our creative practice is the perfect place to do just that. 

Now you know why I build online and in person creative spaces for fellow creators who wish to access their gold.

And this is the same vein behind my research and creative work about the traumatic residue of war.

At my core, I understand the power that lives inside creating from and witnessing stories that can be mined for gold.

That’s MY spark.

What is YOUR spark?

Life is yours to live.

How you choose to live it 

How you choose to transform it ...

That’s entirely up to you.