your inner Harpy
QUOTE ::: Clarissa Pinkola Estes
It may be that a woman's creative process is misunderstood or disrespected by those around her. It is up to her to inform them that when she has 'that look' in her eyes, it does not mean she is a vacant lot waiting to be filled.
It means she is balancing a big cardhouse of ideas on a single fingertip, and she is carefully connecting all the cards using tiny crystalline bones and a little spit, and if she can just get it all to the table without it falling down or flying apart, she can bring an image from the unseen world into being. To speak to her in that moment is to create a Harpy wind that blows the entire structure to tatters. To speak to her in that moment is to break her heart.
And yet, a woman may do this to herself by talking away her ideas until all the arousal is gone from them, or by not putting her foot down about people creeping off with her creative tools and materials, or by the simple oversight of not buying the right equipment to execute the creative work properly, or by stopping and starting so many times, by allowing everyone and their cat to interrupt her at will, that the project falls into a shambles. - Clarissa Pinkola Estes
I made the above journal spread in about 2013, when I was exploring my family lineage. Well, I say ‘exploring’ … but it was really more like a faceplant. I researched the hell out of my line, nonstop, as the most determined force of nature. I learned so much about who I am and the people I came from.
This particular spread is about the assault of our unresolved, pushed down patterns that formed long ago in our lineage and are coming to the surface in us. We can continue the unconscious pattern … or we can look at it, name it, and resolve it.
Our unresolved patterns are saboteurs, just like the Harpy.
what you can do
It’s time to be completely honest with yourself.
Where do you blow the Harpy wind on your own desires?
Where do you kidnap yourself from your deepest truths, carry yourself off and away from what you deeply want to express, and torture yourself?
Because if you are doing it to yourself, it sends the Universal signal to allllllllll the harpies everywhere: please distract me. please destroy my best intentions. please torture me with obstacles. please just treat me, and my desires, like we are an unworthy, undesirable, unobtainable pile of nothingness.
The moment you acknowledge where and why you sabotage yourself, you step into your possibility. The moment you commit to your possibility, your wings CARRY you instead of destroy you.
I am stitching.
Inside and out. Stitching pathways, passions, and possibilities of my own.
I am still in the liminality … and instead of fearing it I am worshipping it.
Where is my own flock of harpies? Oh, I know them well. Yeah, I have a flock. Lucky me, lol! I am learning that when I give them my full attention they stop being so desperate. When I talk to them, they soften. When I let them fly straight into the light of day, they settle on my fingertips and offer me little pearls from their pointed beak. Their claws become fierce petals of truth. Their shrieks shift into supple, seductive whispers of wisdom.
It turns out they are my friends, after all.
Muse ::: Six of Swords
Look closely and you will feel yourself in this card.
What aspects feel like you, NOW? What feels like you, THEN? What feels like you, NEXT?
Can you allow yourself to spend a little time peering into the minimalist design of this card, and gaze into YOUR truths?
The reason we often avoid spending time with ourselves is because we are afraid of feeling. We avoid our own sensation. That’s how we commit Harpy treason on our own selves. Because we avoid our own feelings. Then … they pile up, undigested, turn on us, and BOOM, they take us down. It’s an endless cycle of sabotage.
Are you ready to stop the cycle?
This 6 of Swords card is from The Wild Unknown.